Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tough Subjects
How do you handle tough situations or experiences in your classroom? Just last week, one of my students showed up to class, sat at the back of the room, and began to cry. I went over to her, where she eventually told me that her boyfriend had been shot and killed just a few days ago. I literally did not know what to say, how does one respond to a comment like that??? I felt awful, and told I was very sorry, and asked if she would like to go to the office to speak to a counselor. She did, but I still feel like I could have somehow done more. The kids at my school seem to be dealing with way more serious things than I ever had to deal with when I was in high school. I have students who are pregnant, have one or two young children, have lost family members or close friends to violent acts, etc. Every time I hear about one of these situations, I feel even more like I just don't understand my kids. How I can help them?
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Alison, I think that the answer to your question (and doubtlessly much more than you realize) is that "you did." The same sort of humane impulse that likely led you to choose teaching as a career leads you to want to do more for this person. Of course, you know that there are things that you can't do for this kid, no matter how much you might want to help make things better for her. She took a risk by sharing this with you. so keep asking how she's doing, and letting her know that you're there for her if she wants to talk. The student has taken some risks by sharing this with you, and you don't want to refrain from talking with her about this (perhaps based in a commendable fear of stirring up feelings for her, etc.) because she'll likely be feeling a bit vulnerable and you don't want to inadvertently feed a feeling of shame in her.
ReplyDeleteJust remember that you were there for her, and that she trusted you enough to share some of what was going on, and that all means a lot.